The following is a scene from the second and last act of The Rushes of Tulsa, a work in progress. The character in the scene are as follows:
Mo, a Jew, age 81, owner of several used clothing stores, all known as Mo's Coats, in Tulsa, Matamoros (Mexico), and Denver. Upstairs from the clothing stores in each location is a whorehouse exclusively for aged men. An excommunicated Chasid, he dabbles in Cabbalism and Reichian Therapy with his employees and customers. Mo is very short.
Dick Rush, Super-Anglo Texan, mid-forties at the start of the play, now mid-seventies. Originally an international entrepreneur with political connections, he is now a retired butcher.
Rose Rush, about mid-forties and rather religious at start of play and very Tulsa, she is now early thirties and enjoying life in Denver.
Kitty Rush, daughter of Dick and Rose, about twenty-one. Her character has just merged with her twin sister, Winny. She is now both of them. Together they started Feminist Rap in Denver. She's beyond it now.
Edmundo, early 20's, has been several characters, a Cuban dope dealer in Tulsa, the police chief of Matamoros, Mo's half-Ute, half-Apache assistant Bobby, presently a Chicano video artist in Denver ( though he retains some elements of earlier characters, like Bobby's long, straight black hair). Kitty's boy-friend.
Juana, ageless, could be fifty or eighty, formerly a maid in the Rush household in Tulsa, and Bobby's mother, recently married to Mo.
Bo, African American, early thirties, former employed as a "keeper" of Winny (to keep her off drugs) and as a super dealer to the early versions of Dick. Now a well known heart surgeon in Denver. While operating on Dick, he met Rose. Though characters "change," they are the same character. Good luck!
Rose and Bo become visible on the first level. For a moment they are in deep sleep. Soft spot on their faces. Then Rose wakes up and looks around nervously. This wakes up Bo.)
ROSE: (Soft knocking on door.) It's him. I knew it. All that goddam gasping and shuffling was just a sham. He's gonna kill us. Once a Dick, always a Dick…
BO: What are you talking about?
ROSE: I told you last night. I knew it was gonna happen. Guys like Dick don't give up being who they were, heart attack or no heart attack… BO: He's had three heart attacks Rose! He couldn't kill a daisy! (Knocking again, a little louder this time.)
ROSE: I told you last night. I knew this was gonna happen…You don't just get a divorce from Dick. You pay…
BO: (Looking at alarm clock.) It's six o'clock! (The knocking gets louder.)
ROSE: I'm gonna go down. Maybe I can get rid of him before he wakes up Kitty.
BO: I'll come with you. (He gets out of bed and begins to put his bathrobe on.)
ROSE: You stay right where you are. The last person he needs to see is you. (Bo continues to get dressed. He pulls a gun from his bathrobe.)
BO: Don't worry about me. Never sleep with a divorcee without a baretta in the bathrobe. I learned that in Medical School.
ROSE: Jesus Christ, Bo! Put that away! Let me handle this!
BO: I'll just be in the hall. In case you need me. I'll stay out of sight. (Knocking again. This time quite insistent. Rose crosses to door. She comes downstairs, ladders gone, crawl spaces covered. An "ordinary house" as in first scene. Bull is still there.)
ROSE: Who's there?
DICK: It's me, Rose, open up…
ROSE: Dick, it's six in the morning, what do you want!
DICK: It's cold out here, Rose. Please let me in. I'll just take a minute. (His voice reveals no danger, so she opens the door. Dick enters dragging his enormous oxygen tank behind him, dressed in a bloody smock. He breathes laboriously.)
ROSE: You know you're not supposed to come here without calling first! (She sees his bloody butchering smock.) Oh my God! What have you done, Dick!
DICK: (Realizing she's repelled and making light of it.) Well, you see, I just killed Nicole Simpson and her boyfriend, Rose. It wasn't OJ, it was me. I did it as a favor to all divorced men. And I thought I'd stop by here and just get cleaned up.
ROSE: (Realizing her mistake.) All right. All right. Why don't you ever wash your goddam butcher's duds anyway, Dick?
DICK: Well, the last time I butchered is when I had my heart attack, and I kinda forgot to wash the thing!
ROSE: What are you doing here at six in the morning!
DICK: Well, I bought a steer up in Longmont and I was going out to butcher it today. I was gonna give Kitty and Eddie some steaks and freeze up the rest. Why pay them to kill it and cut it up when I can do it myself?
ROSE: So.
DICK: I couldn't find my knife. The double handed cleaver was right where I left it! (He pulls an enormous cleaver from a deep pocket or a hook on his belt. Bo is moving toward them and becomes visible just now. He doesn't completely hear or see, but he's worried at the sounds.)
ROSE: Oh my God, Dick, put that thing away!
DICK: But I couldn't find my big butchers knife. And I was drivin' out there and I come by here, and I thought, well, maybe Rose has seen it.
ROSE: Dick, it's been three years since you left this place. And you went over it then with a fine tooth comb.
DICK: Well, I didn't wanna have to buy another one. I'm kinda strapped for cash right now, Rose. You know how the song goes: "She got the gold mine, I got the shaft."
ROSE: Don't you start that moanin' with me. You're supposed to call. We're divorced. This isn't your house anymore! And I wish you'd get this goddam bull out of here.
DICK: Rose, you know how small my place is. Look, I'm sorry. I was just drivin' by and I thought maybe I left that knife in some corner of the basement, you know, where I had my butcher's bench?
ROSE: Oh for God's sake go and take a look! I'm going back to bed. (Dick walks past her revealing an enormous butcher's knife hanging from the back of his hip. Rose sees it.) Dick…stop…
DICK: What?
ROSE: Reach your left hand around behind you. Reach back on your left hip…do it real slow now so you don't cut your hand off! (Dick feels the knife behind him and unhooks it. Bo is slowly closing in.)
DICK: Now that's the baby I was looking for.
ROSE: How did you drive over here without noticing it, Dick?
DICK: Musta slipped down beside the seat when I got in. Course I ain't got too much feeling in my hip these days. Oxygen don't get that far. (Bo becomes visible in the hallway as Dick raises his knife in the air like a sacred sword.) This a day I've been waiting for for a long, long time. They said I couldn't do it, but blade'll be deep in a belly fulla guts before long…
ROSE: Stop it, Dick!
DICK: …cutting and slicing so fast and so clean, the whole room'll be full of steaming meat before you know it! (Bo hears the last few lines and seeing Dick with his knife in the air, assumes he's about to kill Rose. He steps quickly into the room.)
BO: Put the knife down, Dick. Put it down, now…
DICK: (Stiffening at the threat, but not really seeing the gun.) Are you talking to me? Are you saying something to me, Doc?
BO: Put the knife down, Dick. Or I'm gonna paper this room with your brains!
ROSE: Put the gun away, Bo! You got it all wrong! I can't believe this!
BO: Don't try to defend him, Rose! I saw him threaten to kill you.
ROSE: Gimmee the gun, Bo. It isn't what you think!
BO: I'll give you the gun when he drops the knife!
DICK: Gun! Did you say gun? Does someone have a gun?
ROSE: Bo's got a gun in his hand, Dick! Can't you see it?
DICK: How the hell can I see it, I don't have my glasses on! Looks like he's holding an egg roll from here!
ROSE: He can't see the gun, Bo! You're threatening a blind man!
BO: I'll put it where he can see it, then! (He steps close to Dick and shoves the gun in his face. Dick jumps back and pulls back his knife in a throwing position.)
DICK: Now you can shoot me, Doc, but I guarantee this ol' soldier can still put a blade right through your heart. I can see clear enough to know where your heart is!
BO: Put the gun down, Dick, right now, I mean it. You're playing games with your heart getting excited like this!
ROSE: He wasn't threatening me at all, Bo. Will you listen to me! He was on his way to Longmont to butcher a steer. (A knock on the door.)
BO: Longmont?
ROSE: (She opens the door.) Come on it. It can't get any worse. (Mo enters with gun in hand. Though he is holding it in an unthreatening manner when he comes through the door, the sight of the two armed men causes him to raise his gun reflexively. Kitty and Edmundo have been awakened by the commotion and are moving toward the kitchen as Mo enters. Kitty is played by Kitty actress, but she has on a blond wig that looks exactly like Winny's hair. Edmundo is played by Edmundo actor, but he wears a wig of long black hair that looks exactly like Bobby's hair. Four characters have merged into two, but it should barely be noticeable. Edmundo videotapes the scene. Mo points the gun at Dick as he speaks, as if he were pointing his finger.)
MO: Dick, you got me in a lot of hot water. Potential hot water. Hot water was not a potential I was expecting.
BO: Put the gun down, Mo.
ROSE: Mo's got a gun, Dick. Put the knife down.
DICK: What are you talking about, Mo?
MO: I'm gonna be fast here Dick. Cause Juana's comin' in. You promised me you'd keep our deal on the q.t., Dick. You know I promised Juana no more whores. So five-thirty this girl rings the doorbell…
DICK: What girl is that, Mo?
MO: The girl I set you up with last night, Dick. The one you promised Juana would never know about. So the bell rings at five-thirty, and it's the girl…
ROSE: Would all you fools just put down your weapons, please!
BO: I'll put mine away when Dick drops the knife.
MO: My doorbell is ringing at five-thirty. You left your gun in the room, Dick. Do you recognize this gun? (He thrusts the gun at Dick.)
DICK: I can't really see it, Mo, without my glasses!
MO: It's your gun, Dick. Take my word for it! I swore to Juana in the name of the bekate ganniff Elohijm that all the apartments were rented now. No more girls. I swore. And then my doorbell is ringing at five-thirty, and why is that, Dick? Because the fucking girl needs to find you, Dick. The fucking girl who you don't even fuck…
DICK: Shut up, Mo…
MO: So this late knacker can get a little conversation, I put my marriage in danger. The only marriage I ever had! Why?
DICK: Shut up, Mo!
MO: Are you telling me to shut up? I do you one last favor. Why? Because you beg me…because you're lonely… There's a hundred whore houses in Denver, massage parlors, lingerie demos with good-by kisses, but for Dick, only girls down at Mo's will do. Why is that, Dick?
DICK: I wanted to be some place familiar. It's hard to find a girl who'll do a guy with a tank!
MO: So then my doorbell is ringing at five-thirty. And what do I tell my wife, Dick? What lie do I tell…
KITTY: (Entering with Edmundo who immediately begins taping. Looking at Dick.) I knew it! I knew it! You think people change, but they don't, they can't…
DICK: Get that bazooka outa my face! I justa wanna butcher a steer!
ROSE: It's not a bazooka, Dick, it's a video camera! Put your goddam glasses on before you kill someone!
EDMUNDO: You get it on tape, it never goes to trial.
DICK: Maybe I put them in my pocket. (The last few lines may overlap as well as Kitty's following speech. Dick reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gun. This brings all of the weapons into threat posture again.) Jesus, I forgot all about this gun! Now where did I put those glasses?
KITTY: Butcher a steer! Butcher a steer! Is that why you came in here? Well, there's nothing left to be butchered in here, Dad. You got it all wrong! You think we're just a buncha cows? Those days are over!
ROSE: You got it all wrong honey! He was on his way to Longmont to cut you and Edmundo some steaks.
DICK: This is my goddam butchers knife. You got eyes don't ya? (Dick thrusts knife into air in front of Kitty. Juana comes through a door with a huge bag of donuts. She sees the knife and screams at the top of her lungs. This makes Bo and Mo raise their guns again, just as they were finally relaxing.)
JUANA: Don't shoot him, Mo. I know someone ought to kill 'em, but I seen too much death already. I can't stand another killing in this life.
ROSE: Nobody's gonna kill anyone, Juana! It's all just a big mistake! Now if you'll all just calm down, I'm gonna make us some coffee. (Rose exits to kitchen.)
JUANA: (Circling toward the armed men, first to Dick.) You think I don't know who you are, big man with the knife? You think I don't know what you did to your girl? You think I didn't see it? As far as you know, I wasn't even there. But I watched you. I saw you lookin' over your shoulder every time that you peed. You think I don't know how guilty you are. I know. And I ain't going to forget. No way. These pictures I got of you are gonna stay in my blood. Everything you ever did or even thought of doing, I can see it all clear like it happened tonight. Even after I die, someone will remember. Cause my blood's gonna rise like steam from a pool, and any person around can just suck them pictures up. You know what you are, Mr. Rush. You're gossip. You're news. You're just a little slimy rumor people pull under the door.
EDMUNDO: Keep it up, Mom! You're doin' great!
MO: Take it easy now, Juana. (To the others.) She gets like this sometimes. She's a different person than I thought she was…
JUANA: You shut up, Mo! You think you fool me? (She moves toward Bo.) And you. You think I don't know all the things you been? Just cause you look like a big doctor now. I know what you been stickin' in people for a long time. I know what you been prescribin'. I know what happened to people you were watchin' over! Don't turn your head on me, you fraud! I know what dreams the doctor dreams. Don't turn your head! You can't stand anyone lookin' at you now. Well that's too bad! Nobody forced you to do what you did. You just did it to be the boss of your hill. Little tiny boss of your little tiny hill.
MO: That's enough, Juana. (She turns sharply to him.) She gets like this sometimes…
JUANA: Enough! You think you can tell me when something is enough! Just cause I married you don't mean that I'm stupid. You drive a big Oldsmobile! Well I know how you got that car. I ain't been out on the res all these years you know! I was a maid in Mexico! I was a maid in Tulsa. In a big rich house with people makin' a lot of money, people takin' dope, sellin' dope, spending money, rushin' around like hungry dogs. You think I bought this little act of yours! Rabbi Mo the Colfax Pimp! Phony Baloney Holy Man! Like you never seen a gun before. Look at the way your holdin' that gun. You been livin' off the small change of killers all your life. Ain't nothin else for sale in this store, `cept for girls and guns. That's what they make in this country, lotsa girls and lotsa guns, just ask Mr. Mo. He'll help you out. It's just a store fulla killers in here, tryin' to prove who the biggest killer of all!
MO: I think you're makin' a little mountain out of a molesass here, Juana. This gun ain't even loaded. Look. (Mo raise the gun and shoots it in the air. A thunderous explosion. Everyone hits the floor except Mo and Juana. Mo stares at the gun in total shock. He turns the barrel to double check.)
KITTY (Seeing Dick and Bo on floor.) Oh my God, Mo, you didn't…Dad…dad… (Just as she says this Rose swings in from kitchen with an enormous coffee maker, cups, creamer, sugar, on a rolling cart. People are just beginning to get off the floor.)
DICK: (Calming Kitty.) False alarm, false alarm…
ROSE: I hope nobody's dead in here, cause the coffee is ready. Oh, good, just a little misunderstanding. That was one good thing about living with Dick all those years: got used to the sound of gunfire. Kitty, go get some plates for the donuts. Those are donuts you got in the bag there, Juana?
JUANA: Yeah…donuts and crullers. I bought enough for the week on the day old store on Federal. They were just opening up. Mo can eat em' a week old if the coffee's hot enough, so I usually stock up just once a week. He says they all taste the same when you soak'em in black coffee.
ROSE: Well, Mo would know…
KITTY: Would someone mind explaining to me what's going on here?
EDMUNDO: I got it all on video…you can watch in the living room. (People are starting to help themselves to coffee and donuts.)
ROSE: Well it's very simple. You see, your dad came in here looking for his butcher's knife. That was about six o'clock. (Dick sheepishly raises his knife.) He could find it cause it was tied to his ass. I pointed that out to him and that's where Bo came in with his gun. (Bo sheepishly shows his gun.) See Bo thought he might be here to kill us…
DICK: Why that's preposterous! Completely preposterous! I was headed out to Longmont to butcher a steer.
ROSE: Anyway Bo comes in with his gun drawn… (Bo sheepishly shows his gun again.)
BO: Never sleep with a divorced woman without a loaded gun. It's a rule of mine.
ROSE: So these two, my former husband and my fiancee are havin' a kinda…well, what shall I call it, a Mexican Standoff… (This strikes her as funny. She can't stop laughing, more and more out of control.) Oh my…A Mexican Standoff…Dick and Bo…
KITTY: Mom! Have you gone completely crackers?
ROSE: No. No I can tell it. So then Mo comes in. And Mo… (She loses it again.) Oh, Lord, help me! And Mo's got a gun! It's a Mexican Standoff with Dick, Bo, and Mo…
EDMUNDO: I don't see why we're wasting time with all this talk. I got it all on tape.
MO: See…it's Dick's gun…I was just returning it…I didn't know it was loaded…when I looked it was empty…
DICK: An unloaded gun is bad luck, you see. By the time you get it loaded, you're already dead…
ROSE: (She has nearly regained her composure, but Dick's remark sets her off again.) An unloaded gun is bad luck! Oh Dick, you're precious! How did I find you?
DICK: Laugh at my theories. That's what she always did.
JUANA: And where did you find this gun of Dick's, Mo? It could be that girl who came knockin' on the door this morning. Don't lie now…
MO: I'm not sayin' nothin'.
JUANA: Well you better have a donut then. You promised, Mo.
MO: I know. I broke my promise.
JUANA: Well, you eat your donut, cause we're married now. (Others have poured themselves coffee and have seated themselves at a long table facing the audience as much as possible. Weapons are stored away. Suddenly the scene is very calm, ordinary, conversational.)
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